I think we would all agree that time flies by way too fast. It’s been said that “The days are long, but the years are short”. The older I get, the more this rings true with me for sure. If you are still fortunate enough to have kids at home, you may want to slow down a bit and enjoy the people right in front of you in a whole new way. Here are some quick tips for you to try:
Look at your kids through the lens of “who” they are and not as who you “want” them to be. Instead of imposing your high performance standards on them 24/7, find a place to accept them, listen to them, and even learn from them! You might just be surprised at what they can teach you. Instead of criticizing the things they say and do, try being curious about what they are thinking and why they are doing things in a different way from you. This will breed respect between you, and they will become more open to listening to you as well.
Don’t rush through your conversations. A great communication skill is to take time to process what they are saying, to thoughtfully respond, and to avoid quick, defensive reactions. This can help you to avoid painful, uncomfortable situations. Try being fully present in the moment, absorb their words, and then take time to reflect on how you want to reply. Whether you’re an opinionated parent, spouse, or an aunt or uncle, this technique is sure to improve the quality of your conversations with those you love.
Try taking a mindful walk or bike ride with your children. Be smart and leave the phones at home. Change it up each time – sometimes explore your own neighborhood, but other times visit a new park or nearby beach. Teach them how to look for the shapes in the clouds, to hear the roar of the ocean, to stop and smell the flowers, and to notice the birds chirping. This may seem “old school” to you, but some things are tried and true. And because we are living in an age of being connected to our phones 24/7, it’s critical to teach our children to unplug and connect with the people they are with. You may be surprised about the conversations that organically evolve between you on a field trip like this. They will also be learning how to be fully present in any given moment.
Maybe for you, like myself, your kids have already flown the nest, but you can still apply these principles to your relationship with them as adults. This also applies to time with your spouse and extended family and friends as well. Hopefully, this will help you to make the most of your moments together!